Thursday, February 24, 2011

Always Blame It on the Sperm

Something just occurred to me about five minutes ago.

I have given birth to the most independent child on the face of the Earth AND the most dependent child on the face of the Earth.

How is it possible that two eggs from the same basket could produce such polar opposite offspring?

I'm blaming the sperm.

The carrier of the sperm is on his way home, finally. It will take all of my will power not to dump the problems of the dependent child in his lap immediately. I can hold them on my own for a while longer. I can. I swear. I am strong. What difference will a few days make?

Thank god the sperm no longer have a means of escape. Another offspring would break this mother's back.