My husband doesn't listen to me, I swear.
Today we were engaging in our new favorite lunchtime hobby, looking at real estate listings online, when I made a comment to him.
"Exit Realty. That's a stupid name for a real estate company. It makes me think of anal sex."
He completely ignored me.
So I went on, "You know, most husbands at least look up when their wives mention anal sex."
"Eh. It's old hat," he responded without even lifting his eyes.
Moments later he was lamenting that he had to go back to work. Work is wearing on him right now. All either one of us can think about is moving. So I played devil's advocate.
"Aw, so don't go back. What do you have to do that's so pressing? Stay and play with me. We can look up some more Realtors."
"I have work to do," he replied. "Besides, we don't even know where we're moving yet."
"So, go find out!" My voice rose. "Pick up your phone. Call your commander and just ask him!"
"I can't do that," he said.
"Sure you can," I answer. "Just use the power of dude. As long as you say 'dude' first, you can say anything! Say, 'Dude, I need to know where I'm going.' and he'll say, 'Dude, alright. I'll find out.' Guys can say anything as long as they use the power of dude!"
And he laughed at me. He laughed!
I'm glad he thinks I'm funny, but, DUDE, go find out where we're moving, will ya?
I'll give you anal sex.