Mid Life Turns Me On

I think my husband thinks I'm just stroking his ego when I tell him that I love his gray hair.

But I'm not. I think it is so hot. I especially love the gray in his beard.

You know, it's funny...not in a "ha ha" kind of way but in a "you've got to be fucking kidding me" kind of way...but my libido has pretty much been dead for at least three years now. I think I had to turn it off so many times while my husband was away that I forgot how to turn it back on.

(I also think there is probably something wrong with me, but let's not go there right now.)

But now that my husband is gone for a year...A YEAR...my libido is back with a vengeance.

I don't know where it came from. It totally just hit me out of the blue.

That is so wrong.

But it has been a long time since I actually checked out men online (if you know what I mean) and I had forgotten how young they all are.

I'm not really attracted to guys in their twenties, or even their thirties. Somewhere along the way, without realizing it my tastes shifted to guys in their forties. Maybe even early fifties.

But you try finding hot guys in their forties to ogle.

Ugh. This all makes me sound kind of sick.

With so little online options, I'm left checking out real men. And that's not cool, or productive.

So I'm left checking out that one hot cowboy guy in that Viagra ad. Which, maybe, inspired me to read a few erotic cowboy novels. *ahem*

And then maybe I noticed how hot a lot of the guys in those Viagra ads seem to be.

Doesn't that just seem sad and wrong somehow?

When I do see a hot celebrity (Like Joe Matarese who I saw on Chelsea Lately) I maybe do a few more Internet image searches then are really seemly.

But with 48 and a half weeks to go before I can ogle my husband's gray stubble again, I'm just going with it. And if searches for "silver fox" show up in my Internet history more than they should, hopefully my man will find it encouraging (and stop shaving his head).