Resolution

This weekend, some friends of mine will be participating in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Breast Cancer 3-Day. They will be walking 60 miles over the course of three days to raise money for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund. One of these friends lost her sister to breast cancer two years ago.

They've been training for this walk for a few months now. I've been watching them all get thinner and thinner (and they were all skinny to start with). They are my heroes.

Every September when I see all of the pink ribbons lining the residential streets to mark our local Race for the Cure, I swear that I will train to run the race the next year. I've been swearing that since 1996. And I've never done it.

That's ten years.

Every year I end up sponsoring friends who are running. I tell myself that I am at least helping the cause. But there is something very deep inside of me that will not consider my life well-lived if I have not run that race.

This year, on the Monday morning after my annual missed opportunity, I got an e-mail from my friend telling me about her plans to walk in the 3 Day.

I was overwhelmed with a mixture of pride in my friends, grief for their loss, disappointment in myself, and resolve.

Running is something that I hate. Yet I desire to excel at it with every fiber of my being. I dream of racing.

I have some deeply personal reasons for wanting to run. And at the core of them all is that I was told by doctors that long distance running is the one thing that I shouldn't and couldn't do. And that makes me want to do it all the more.

I will not fail in 2007. I will run that race. Even if it kills me. But the journey to that place and space isn't a sprint, it is a marathon.

And it begins today.

*****

If you'd like to sponsor my friends, e-mail me and I'll forward the link.