There's nothing like ingratiating myself to the new neighbors by pressing the panic button on the truck alarm before 8 a.m. on a holiday morning.
And, of course, I was wearing the red shorts and a hot pink t-shirt I had worn to bed so that when they looked out their curtains to see who the fuck had woken them up they could turn to each other and say, "What? Did a five year old dress that loud women?"
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