When I Grow Up

If I had life to do all over again, I think I would become an orthodontist.

I had a consultation with my son's orthodontist this week and I found it absolutely fascinating. He's a very interesting guy anyway*, and I think he kind of likes me and the kids, so he took a long time to show me how they figure out all this ortho stuff. It was all angles and time lines and math and pretty pictures.

Fascinating.

Besides, what better job could there be than to help people smile and laugh and talk and eat without feeling pain or self-conscience?

(Okay, I'm sure there are more noble jobs, but they all sound hard.)

A friend of ours who was an ER doctor (who left the hospital to start a fat clinic, by the way) always tells his son, "Become an orthodontist, not a doctor. You'll make all of the money with half the work and stress."

That sounds good to me. Tuna Boy thinks it sounds good too. Now he's thinking he'll have something to fall back on if his Hollywood stardom should fall through.

*****

*Here are some other reasons I find the orthodontist "interesting":

1) He highly approves of my son's name. It is his own son's name and he likes to go on about what a great name it is. So, he has good taste.

2) He showed me charts of my child's perceived beauty. Apparently, his facial features are symmetrical and his profile is "classic" which equals a "very attractive" face. So, the orthodontist has quantified the superiority of our genes. That's always a good trait in a person.

3) I've never known an orthodontist who didn't own a yacht. Yachts are cool.