Thursday, December 09, 2004

Tuna Girl Embarrasses the Guys

I slept like the dead Saturday night, only to be awakened at 7:30 a.m. by my damn internal/maternal clock. I tried to go back to sleep, but apparently the couple in the room next to mine were morning people, because the thump, thump, thumping kept me awake. At least they had more rhythm than the newlyweds on my cruise.

What is it with me getting rooms next to horny people? And what is it with morning sex? That's the last thing I'd want to do first thing in the morning.

So I took another orgasmic shower (Herbal Essences included) and just hung out and relaxed. Until my stomach started demanding attention.

I called Patrick to hurry him up and he called MAK and we all met at my hotel. Patrick was nice enough to carry my bag down the stairs, since the elevator wasn't working.

I went up to the desk to check out, and the woman there directed me to a gentlemen who would check my bag and get me a car for later. I stepped over to the man and Patrick was standing a few feet behind me. But this guy never even made eye contact with me. Even though I did all the talking and was holding the bag, he directed all of his questions to Patrick and even handed him my receipts. After the guy walked away I turned to Patrick and said, "That's what it is like to be a woman. I've been treated like that my whole life."

Can I get an "amen" from the ladies? When I'm alone or with other female friends, everything is fine, but throw just one man in the mix and we might as well be invisible.

So Patrick, MAK, and I took off in search of brunch. And then we braved the crowds to walk down to Macy's. I wanted to see the famous Christmas decorations there, but I wasn't really very impressed. We subwayed back up and walked through Times Square again to try and find some little trinkets for my kids.

I happened to look into a shop window and see a purple hair bow that I knew my daughter would love. I glanced up and noticed that it was a Clare's, and I asked the guys to stop.

You should have seen the looks on their faces. Tee hee. I hadn't really realized that the place was completely full of tiaras and feather boas. But they bravely entered the store with me and stood near the door with their hands in their pockets. They couldn't have looked more out of place if they tried. So much for their big talk about playing Pretty, Pretty Princess.

After enjoying coffee together and buying my son a snowglobe, we headed back to the hotel to meet my car.

I stood on the sidewalk and hugged those guys and I just didn't want to leave. As much as I wanted to get home to my husband and kids (so much so that I turned down a $400 bump) I just wanted one more day to spend with my new friends.

It was a whirlwind weekend. One that included conversations about everything from fisting and blood-red pee, to surrogate motherhood and sign language.

I suppose whenever you get that many people together there is going to be some drama. But I was completely immune to that, probably just by virtue of being both female and straight.

I have two regrets though. One is that I didn't get to spend more time with some people. And the other is that...well...some people said some amazingly sweet things to me (one certain someone in particular), and I didn't really respond. Now I'm thinking of all the things I should have said.

But, hell. I have a blog. I can say whatever I want here. Right?

So...I love you guys. Thank you for making my rare weekend away from my kids, and my last weekend of freedom before my husband's deployment so much fun. Thank you for being you.

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