Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Someone throw me a line!

I'm drowning here.

I'm gasping for breath and flailing my limbs, just trying to get my head above water long enough to see where I am.

But it's not water I'm drowning in. It's obligations, and commitments, and annoying friends who won't go away, and money concerns, and all the same old shit.

And I call out for help, but all anyone does is throw some ballet shoes, or a violin, or a whole mess of soccer balls into the mix. And they're drowning me and I can't breathe.

I see startling rays of light from time to time. The kids hug each other and say "I love you" and suddenly I see blue sky. Or the husband does something nice and I feel like my fingertips have found the edge of a life preserver. Or a friend calls and just for a moment I can feel myself floating.

But they are all too fleeting glimpses and my head is under the muck again. And I can't see my way out.

Until today. Today the oppressive weight I've been struggling against parted like the Red Sea. I could breathe, and see, and even dance a little.

Everything is still waiting to crush me again, but right now I feel invincible.

This week I lost 7 and a half pounds.

With the help of a couple of people who love me...


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