Things Spouses Say to Each Other

Or at least things my husband and I say to each other.

1) Is that your feet that stink like dead animal. Or is it me?

2) (While holding shirt over nose) Are you ill? No human should make that smell. Should I call 911?

3) Sure we can have sex. Just let's not do that thing you like to do.

4) She/he must get that attitude/annoying whine/horrible personality trait/funky body hair/weird fourth toe from you because she/he didn't get it from me.

5) I love you to death, but...

6) I will pay you one million dollars to put them to bed tonight.
(followed closely by)
How about a blow job instead?

7) You're beautiful/handsome/hot.
(followed closely by)
Are you high?

8) I love you so much. I'm so horny for you.
(followed closely by)
Are you drunk?

9) Will you check my episiotomy scar for me?
(or also)
How's your scrotal incision doing?
(or maybe)
Will you see if this is a zit on my asshole or something worse?

10) Are you going to blog this?