Why have I never heard a elementary school chorus that was good? I mean seriously, kids! Why join chorus if you're just going to stand there awkwardly "singing" in a breathy little voice? I just don't get it.
Sing out, Louise! You're ten!
And seriously? What's up with these music teachers? Do they not have any ability to teach voice at all?
Okay, admittedly, this comes from a recover(ing) Catholic school girl who was forced to join Glee Club by the nuns at school. We were assigned to Glee. No choice about it. And we practiced daily. During math class. In fact our entire grade was forced to sing four part harmonies of How Great Thou Art and Amazing Grace at mass every week.
I may have hated Sr. Winifred's yelling and berating back then. But that women taught us to sing.
She would have been appalled at the concert I attended today.
It started with the Lower School string orchestra. My daughter finally, finally, finally sits and plays with "professional" posture. She finally looks like she knows what she's doing up there.
Their orchestra has such diverse levels of talent and skill, it must be tough for the director to pull it together. But it is still a little painful to watch half of those kids plod through these elementary arrangements when I hear them playing standard orchestral pieces every Monday night at our regional orchestra.
Then the fifth grade bell choir played. They were actually pretty good. I'm impressed that the music teacher could get every single kid in the grade to play in tempo.
Then the chorus sang.
Oh, dear lord.
I really do give those kids credit for getting up there and singing in front of their school mates. But it was hard to watch and listen to them. I felt bad for them.
After three songs of awkwardness, (including Beat It with choreography...seriously) the awkward got ramped up a thousand notches.
The music teacher announced that they would paying homage to their favorite show Glee with Journey's Don't Stop Believing.
Okay, wait. Stop. Seriously? You're telling me that this group of nine to eleven-year-olds are big fans of Glee.
With the teenage pregnancy and sex story lines?
With the word "faggy" being thrown around?
With the fake pregnancy and baby selling?
With Sue Sylvester?
And you think that is appropriate?
Well, we were all treated to a Glee-ish version of the worst song ever written complete with magically appearing instrument accompaniment. (One thing I have to give to our new school....they always use lives bands. No karaoke tapes for them.)
And okay, I clapped as loud as anyone when they finished with jazz hands. I mean it takes a lot of guts to get up on stage and...do that.
But I can't help but wonder...(What? It's Sex and the City weekend, right?)
What has Glee done to our future generation of Glee clubbers? And how far is my ten-year-old from wearing a bubble-covered mini dress to school?