Curses!

I think hot plumber boy said it best when he exclaimed, "This house is cursed!"

Why yes, hot plumber boy. Yes, it is.

This time around I decided not to argue with hot plumber boy about feminine hygiene products. I thought meat would be a much better topic.

At first, he blamed the reclogging and flooding of my sink on the fact that I was actually using the garbage disposal for (gasp) garbage.

Our conversation went something like this:

HPB: This is because of all the meat in the garbage disposal. I'll have to clear meat out from under the house too. You know, those disposals aren't really good for much besides rinsing off your plates.

Me: Excuse me. Did you say "meat"?

HPB: Yes, meat.

Me: Meat?

HPB: Meat.

Me: Meat???

HPB: Meat.

Me: How could I have meat in my disposal when I never cook?

HPB: (Clearly baffled at the thought that a women might not enjoy cooking for her man) I saw meat.

We had this meat? meat exchange a couple of times during the day.

I haven't had meat in my house since Patrick visited. (Okay, the sexual innuendos can abound on that one.) And trust me, not a single morsel of that bacon-wrapped beef tenderloin went anywhere near that disposal.

Regardless, my sink is still in pieces and my water is still brown. The only good thing about this is that I'll get another visit from hot plumber boy. He better hope this problem is solved before the man gets back home.

But there is something about the last few weeks of a deployment that always send the house gremlins into a frenzy.

The kids' bathroom has been filled with bugs for weeks. The bug man has been out numerous times and can't seem to find the source.

The brand new heat and/or air conditioning doesn't seem to be keeping up with things upstairs.

And the computer decided to foil my blogging and e-mailing plans by ceasing to work. The mouse just keeps stalling out.

But it's funny that once you get a little rest and get a lot more organized (and skip a few days of blogging) your brain will suddenly start to work and you can solve a lot of problems.

First, I realized that the window in the kids' bathroom was cracked open on the top. The screen fell out years ago and I always leave the light on so the kids can make late-night potty trips. Hmmm, open window...light.... Yes, that just may be a magnet for bugs.

I realized that the cleaning ladies had left the window like that, so I started to check the windows in the rest of the upstairs. They're all cracked. No wonder the heat and/or AC couldn't keep up.

And at two o'clock in the morning last night, I finally solved my computer problem.

Aha! The mouse keeps freezing? Maybe the nifty, little optical mouse needs new batteries.

I swear I used to be smarter than this.

I had poor Patrick on the phone with me for over an hour in the middle of the night, walking me through the keystrokes to back-up my photo files and trying to run Ad-ware. Poor baby. He's going to kick my ass.

But I owe him an ass kicking for yesterday's post, so I guess we're even.

I'll be back to regular blogging soon, y'all.