I Love Being a Housewife

There's a reason that I am a housewife.

Actually, there is more than one reason. There are many, many good reasons for me to not work so that I can take care of my family. But only one of those reasons matters right now.

When I work, I'm miserable.

I've been working for a few days now. It's volunteer work, but it is grueling none the less.

Part of my duties as a chair on the school's parents' association is to run a fundraiser at a local art fair. We have two food booths and we sell fair food and Icees.

It's been 90 degrees here for the last couple of days and I've been manning fryers and ovens in an outdoor booth. I've been running back and forth between the two booths delivering pizza and dealing with emergencies. I've had to listen to scores of volunteers bitch, and that's when they actually show up. I'm sunburned and I smell like corn dogs.

If I was getting paid to do this, I'd quit.

But bitch, bitch, bitch. Blah, blah, blah.

The bigger news in my life right now is that my husband has been promoted!

Woo hoo. It's a pretty big deal. A big enough deal that my parents and his flew out for the occasion.

I'm very proud of him. His commander gave an excellent and very flattering speech. And my husband spoke very well too. The kids pinned on his new rank and they did awesome. The commander told them to pound the pointy ends of the rank into his shoulders to make it stay and they made adorable little faces while they banged away.

And we celebrated with Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

But wait. Go back. Did you catch what I said up there?

My parents AND HIS flew in for the occasion. And I'm miserable from working. That all adds up to one fucking cranky me.

But crank, crank, crank. Blah, blah, blah.

By tomorrow morning they'll all be on their way home. I have five more days to work and then I get a year off. I'll eventually work off the Krispy Kremes that adhered straight to my ass. And we'll have a couple more hundred dollars a month in our checking account.

I think I know just what I'll do with it. Does anyone want to be my personal assistant? This housewife needs some help.