Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Rule of 2

This post by Steven over at Human Nature reminded me of something.

Over these last three or four years of observing gay male animals in their natural habitat (i.e. bars, clubs, gyms, cute eateries, bathroom stalls and the streets of Provincetown) I have come up with what I think is a fail safe way to judge the appropriateness of a mate.

Using the scale of attractiveness from 1 to 10 on which a 1 is...I don't know...Gilbert Godfrey and a 10 is absolute male perfection, what number would you assign to yourself?

Now add 2. Why? Because everyone underestimates their own appeal. (Unless you think you're a 10. Then subtract 2 for being an ass.)

Now using that number, you can ALWAYS date/mate/fuck with anyone plus or minus 2 from your number on the scale.

So, let's say you think you're a 6. Add 2, you're really an 8. You can successfully bag anyone from a 6 to a 10 given the right attitude and level of confidence.

Genius, right?

I briefly wondered if the rule of 2 applied to straight people too. But experience tells me that given the right amount of alcohol, a straight guy will sleep with anyone with a vagina. And the right amount of alcohol hovers right around 2 beers.

Huh? There you have it. That's the straight version of the Rule of 2.

*Blogger does not guarantee results. Results may vary. Large amounts of money or penis may affect results. (As does large amounts of wonderful personality, but that doesn't make for fun math or poorly-informed, sweeping generalizations.)

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