I Wish!

Right before we left our old school, a civilian friend of ours gave $250,000 to the school to start an endowment fund for military families. Cool, huh? He wanted any military family who wanted to attend the school to be able to, regardless of their financial situation.

He's kind of awesome. He didn't want any recognition or anything so they called it the Military Family Endowment and only announced his identity at the board meeting.

Yesterday, SW (one of my best friends from back on the bayou and the president of the school's parents' association) asked me if I could fly in for a military appreciation breakfast and presentation.

Since I can't make it, she then asked me to write a little something for her to read during the presentation to our endowment fund.

She said, "This year the parent's association would like to make a contribution to the endowment fund your family started. Is it called the Tuna Family Endowment?"

Um, no.

It's not.

Yes, my mother-in-law always makes very generous contributions to the school, but $250,000? Hell, no!

And us? I think we donated 75 bucks last year.

But, apparently, word got around that we started this quarter of a million dollar endowment.

If we gave a quarter mil, I'd want a damn building named after us.

Now I have to write an e-mail explaining this all to my friend and setting the record straight. That could be hard.

Huh. I wonder if I'll still have to write something for that presentation. That could be hard too.

"Dear fellow parents...we're not the generous rich fucks you think we are..."