Tongue in Cheek

I was standing at the sink washing my hand-wash-only pots and pans when my husband came home last night.

"What ya doin'?" he inquired.

"Washing pots and pans," I replied.

"Oh, I hardly ever see you do that," he answered.

"Oh, really. I cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and you use at least one pot a day yourself. What did you think? That the pot fairies come in and clean them? That we have kitchen fairies who come in here every night and clean up after you?"

"Well, this pot and pan fairy is kinda bitchy," he deadpanned.

"You want to see a bitchy fairy, my dear? I'll show you a bitchy fairy."

"Yeah?" he asked. "Are you gonna call..."

He didn't finish that sentence.

I pointed a soapy spatula at him.

"Don't piss off the fairies!"


Photo courtesy of the Traveling Spotlight

*****

We were watching How I Met Your Mother. I like that show. But I have to admit, we were watching a pretty annoying episode.

My husband looked over his shoulder at me from where he was lying on the couch.

"Give me the remote."

"No." I answered. "I'm watching this."

"I have the power," he intoned. "Give me the remote."

I held tight to the remote, of course.

"I have all the power in this relationship. And you know why, don't you?"

"Yup." he agreed. "You have all the power because you have the pussy."

Damn right. 'Bout time he learned.