Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I'm not the girl I used to be.

I've had so much to say, but I feel like I'm living in the Stone Ages. Two days without a computer had me going bonkers. Today I drove over a half hour just to pick up a NetZero disk. Isn't dial-up great?

Yesterday I came down to the Cape to get our house cleaned up and ready for the kids. But not before I had it out with my parents. Now all I can do is sigh about the whole situation.

I'm hurt that my parents just can't seem to understand what I'm going through right now. It's just about impossible to explain. I feel almost like they're glad my husband is deployed because he's out of the way. They think they can control me when he's not here, mostly though their passive aggressive ways. They want to take the kids and do what they want with them, regardless of what my husband and I want.

What they don't get is that my husband and I are still a team no matter how far away he may be.

They also don't get that I'm a different person than I was when I left home twelve years ago. I've made my own family. And right now that family is more here for me than my parents could ever be.

I'm wallowing a bit, and I'm sorry for it. I had a great time in New York City and it sucks that I had to come back to conflict and upset. But the kids are happy and my husband and I are closer than ever. I'm trying to concentrate on all of that and let the rest go.

I'm sick of being this way already.

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