I haven't told my husband this yet, but...
I got hit on today at the gym.
I'm sorry. No matter who you are, how much in love you are, or how jealous your partner may be, it feels good to get hit on. Even if the guy hitting on you could only most generously be called a "5".
But I haven't been hit on in years.
Oh sure, gaggles of gay guys have flirted with me and called me gorgeous, but they're only trying to increase their tips or their chances with my hot gay friends.
So I didn't even recognize his pathetic straight guy attempt to pick me up until he spelled it out for me.
And what was his ingenious pick-up line?
"Where did you get those sneakers?"
I was listening to my iPod and totally in my work out zone, so he had to repeat himself three times. But they are kind of cool Adidas running shoes and I thought maybe he had a girlfriend who was in the market for some new kicks.
So I told him where I got them and started to walk away. But he kept talking to me and I awkwardly stopped and listened.
Finally he said, "Hey! What's that on your hand?"
I thought it might be a bug or a bugger or something and I flicked my right hand up to look.
"No," he said. "Not that one. The other one."
So I flicked my left hand up. "I don't see anything."
"I see a wedding ring," he sighed. "Too bad."
Oh yeah. It's too bad, alright. Because I would have been all over your skinny butt and non-existent chin if only I wasn't married. But why don't you give me your number and I'll file it under Worst Pick Up Line Ever.