The Vocabulary Makes the Woman

My husband says that I use lots of words and terms that he doesn't know. It's something he's complained about since we dated in high school.

I don't do it on purpose (and hell, for all he knows, I'm just making shit up) but I know it annoys him sometimes.

But he usually asks me to explain and that's nice.

The other night we were watching an episode of American Dad. Don't judge us. Desperate Housewives wasn't on.

They depicted the apartment complex of Francine's best gay friend and a banner across the building read, "No pets or power bottoms allowed."

Okay. I admit it. I laughed.

Which, of course, led to my husband wondering what power bottom might mean.

"Well, you know what a bottom is, right?" I asked him.

"No."

"Um. Okay. I think you do. You know the difference between a top and a bottom, right?"

"No."

"Ahhh. Well...you know. When gay men...umm. Well, you know what I mean. Right?"

"No."

"Okay. When gay men have... Do you even want to know?"

"I think maybe I don't," he replied.

"Okay, then."

Man. It was easier to explain litigious.