Thursday, May 04, 2006

Gym Confessions

I saw a real live penis today.

And it wasn't attached to the man I love!

I was innocently working out at the gym. Someone had turned the pull down machine to face the entrance to the men's locker room. Now, I wouldn't normally stare into the men's locker room.

What? I wouldn't!

But there were two women in that hallway and I was wondering why.

It seems they were taking care of the plants.

As soon as they rolled away an ailing ficus tree, a guy peaked around the corner. That caught my attention too.

And then I saw a tall, towel-wrapped guy stride across the entrance.

If the men's locker room is set up like the women's than there is one lone changing area that you have to pass by the entrance to get to. I suppose towel boy had left his clothes in there.

I continued to heave and ho my fifty pounds on the pull downs, but I hadn't even finished six reps when I saw a white towel wave in front of the entrance.

Of course that caught my attention enough to look again.

This time towel boy was holding his towel to his chest as he strode completely naked by the entrance.

And he was staring right at me.

I saw pee pee and butt!

I laughed. And then I realized that his was the first real live penis (other than the one I vowed to take in sickness and in health) I've seen since I was seventeen-years-old!

Flacid penises look weird.

So my husband wants to know exactly what kind of cruisy gym I go to. And I told him, "Hey! He wasn't even hard!"

I've always been fascinated by men and their behavior. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in a men's locker room just to see if all of the stories I hear are true.

And I'd love to know what makes a guy wag his wee wee at a random housewife. Any insight?

Maybe next time hot bicep man will forget his towel in the changing room.

I'll be watching. But only if something attracts my attention first. Because you know I'm not one to stare into the men's locker room


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