Thursday, April 05, 2007

The Gift Basket that Keeps on Giving

"I saw the most beautiful man. He had perfect arms, legs, and chest. And his ass? I couldn't take my eyes off it."

"That's interesting. Did he even have a face? Or was he just a headless, beautiful torso with limbs?"

It's funny, because when I hear that a man is beautiful, my first mental image is of a classic face with a full-lipped, kick-ass smile. Then my mental image moves on down to the rest. Which I'm quite interested in. But the face comes first.

Apparently, this isn't so for my male friends.

You can blame it on Nicky that I have packages on my mind. (Oh, wait. Did I just leap onto the subject of packages? Well, they are on my mind.)

Yesterday Nicky posted about the high-five. (Did you know that the first public figure to high-five was a gay major leaguer?) He included this image of John Rocker.

What is shocking to me is that I didn't notice Rocker's massive basket until Nicky mentioned it. But as Nicky pointed out, that seems about right because apparently, checking out the basket is a guy thing. Both gay and straight. They did, like, a scientific study, or something.

Huh. Who knew?

From now on, I'm checking out crotches first. Every man I meet will get the below-the-belt eagle eye from me. I think women everywhere should join me. Maybe it will be the first step to bridging the gender gap.

Or maybe we'll usher cod pieces back into style.

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