Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Gift of a City

One thing that always surprises me about Patrick's apartment is how amazingly quiet it is here. And with his bed moved down from his loft in anticipation of his recovery time, it could almost be described as cozy.

I never thought I would like New York City. Besides a very scheduled high school class trip (which doesn't count) I was over 30 before I visited for the first time.

Now I love New York. I am a convert. I love Central Park and all it's winding ways and green spaces. Green spaces that are soaking wet right now, but still. I love that you can find just about anything within a few blocks. I love how you can walk most anywhere and hop on a subway when you can't. I love that any kind of food in the world is right at your fingertips.

I was feeling very cosmopolitan because I navigated all of the trains and subways to get from Newark to Patrick's apartment by myself. In fact, his subway stop felt pretty much like home to me. It is my favorite subway stop.

Of course to be really cosmopolitan I would have had to take my limo from the airport. But then I wouldn't be a real New Yorker. I'd be a rich one.

I'm feeling like a real New Yorker right now though. I just had my late night dinner delivered to my Upper West Side apartment. Where I will be eating it to the accompaniment of my neighbor's sex chorus. (I don't hear a girl. Maybe he is alone.)

At least I can pretend to be a real New Yorker for a few days.

I wish happier circumstance had brought me here. But I wouldn't have left my husband and kids to fend for themselves during our busiest season for happier circumstances.

Today was hard.

Patrick is doing okay. I still haven't gotten any real details about how things really went, but I know he is much more uncomfortable now then after his last surgery.

The waiting was hard. But I'd rather be waiting here where I can charm the nurses into getting me information then back home waiting for phone calls like last time.

I love that my husband gets that. And loves me so much he can happily send me on my way.

Leaving Patrick tonight was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It wasn't as hard as saying goodbye to my husband for months overseas, but it was close.

As I sit here in his apartment tonight, trying hard to think of other things, I am marveling over New York City. And the amazing life it has.

Patrick made a gift of the city to me. For that and many other reasons, I love him so much. I want him pain-free and fully healed right now!

In the meantime, I'll get some sleep so that I can be the best friend I can be in the morning. That's all I have to give him.

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