I am all fucked up.
I haven't been able to sleep at night for quite a while now. But since my husband has been home, I've been making up for it by sleeping most of the day away.
He seems perfectly fine with this. He's been taking the kids on little outings and whatnot. Right now they are at the playground. I wonder what his motivation is for letting me sleep so long every morning. I'm sure he wants to get some one-on-one time in with the kids before he leaves, but...well...usually he prefers his time to be two-on-two.
Tomorrow, he officially goes back to work for a week, then he'll be working half days until he leaves around June 15.
I've got to get my shit together. I can't waste these last weeks with him being all sleep-deprived and exhausted.
I've learned that there is a lot of pressure to be happy and together right before he deploys. And I've learned that there is a tendency to fight, possibly because it's easier to leave someone you're mad at. Every time he goes I insist that I won't fight with him this time. And I haven't yet. But it only increases the pressure to be happy and together.
I'm not too thrilled with myself right now. It's time to do something about it.