Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The Poop Post

I just spent a good five minutes begging my son to poop on the potty.

My son is a good kid. In general, we get along very well and I understand him. He's pretty easy going. But sometimes...well, sometimes, he gets an idea in his head and there is just no changing his mind.

For instance, he would not believe that boys could pee standing up. He just laughed and said I was being silly. But he also refused to sit on a public toilet. So clearly, teaching him to stand was the only way I'd ever be able to leave the house.

I had to beg my husband to prove to him that boys could pee standing up. Luckily, physical proof solved that problem.

But now he insists that boys do not poop on the potty.

"No, Mommy," he tells me. "Boys don't poop on the potty. Only girls poop on the potty."

So he holds it until he gets his nighttime diaper on. Or he just has accidents. And then he gets diaper rash. Right now he is absolutely red and raw.

"Boys do poop on the potty," I tell him. "Daddy poops on the potty. Grandpa poops on the potty."

"No! Mommy!," he insists. "Boys don't poop in the potty!"

How exactly am I going to prove him wrong.

When Patrick was here, CB embarrassed the hell out of me by asking him, "So, how good of a friend are you? Are you a good enough friend to show the boy that boys do poop on the potty?"

I'm not sure that I heard Patrick's answer through the blood rushing to my ears

Moment ago, my son and I were rehashing the same old argument.

Me: You need to poop in the potty so your bum won't hurt.
The Boy: No! Mommy! I don't poop in the potty.
Me: Everyone poops in the potty. Only babies poop in diapers.
The Boy: MOMMY! NO! Boys don't poop in the potty.
Me: Yes they do. Daddy poops in the potty. Grandpa poops in the...
The Boy: NO! NO! NO! Daddy doesn't poop in the potty. Grandpa doesn't poop in the potty. Patrick doesn't poop in the potty. Mr. Mark doesn't poop in the potty.
Me: Well, Honey. *sigh* Then where do they poop?
The Boy: In their pants!

What the hell am I going to do?

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