I had a major revelation this week.
My daughter is desperate for my approval. I guess that should be a big old "d'uh!" since most kids are motivated by their parents' approval. But her need seems to be greater than her peers.
I'm hoping it's because I'm the only parent she has around right now (and I report back to her favorite parent) and not that I am a perfectionist monster.
No comments required on that one.
I first noticed that her need for my approval was out of control on Tuesday when she kept looking at me during her group violin class. She even looked at me when she sat down on the stage and cried because she wasn't absolutely positive if she should be playing her new piece or not.
But when class was over she practically ran to my seat in the auditorium to ask me over and over, "How did I do?"
None of the other kids seemed to care the least what their parents thought.
Then last night while she was practicing a particularly difficult passage I noticed that she was looking at me for my reaction instead of at her fingers or bow.
"Why are you looking at me?" I asked her.
She didn't respond but played the notes again. Again she looked at me before she had finished.
"Why are you looking at me? I don't have sheet music on my face do I?" I asked her as a rubbed my nose and tried to get her to lighten up a little.
She giggled a bit and started playing the notes over. Once again, she looked up at me before she was halfway through.
"Honey!" I was exasperated now. "Why are you looking at me?"
"I can't help it," she replied. "You're just so attractive."
So she is desperate for my approval and a suck up.
I wish she would give some lessons to her Daddy.