Some of these are just for me.

Patrick is fond of saying, "Never piss off a bitchy queen!" And he's right. I've seen it first-hand.

But you know what is even more true?

You should never piss off a bitchy queen's best friend. Ever.

I'm so mad right now I'm actually shaking.

I'm generally pretty easy to get along with. There are only two things that will make me fly off the handle: Treat me like a child, or do anything at all to hurt someone I love.

And if you manage to do both of those in one fell swoop, well, damn. First I'm going to get all superior and bitchy with you. And then I'm going to blog about you.

So right now I'm on a mission to make a certain business person's life a living hell. And he might not know it yet, but Patrick is going to help me. First I get mad, then I get even. If I don't get even enough, I'll use my blog as a weapon.

I have to. Using sex as a weapon only works if you sleep around.

Oh, wait. Paaatrick! I need your help.