Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Not Just for Lesbians Anymore

As part of my never-ending quest to get the kids exercising more, we went for a walk this weekend.

We walked down to the "orange playground" which is situated right in the middle of the lodging buildings (that's like a hotel on base). The kids like to play there because there are usually a few kids to play with.

This Sunday, just after we arrived, a family came and joined us. They had two blond kids.

You couldn't help but notice the blond hair because the two-year-old had a huge blond afro, and the three-year-old had a mullet.

Yes, I said a mullet.

It was a really, really long mullet too.

And I realized that my kids had never seen a mullet before. Because they couldn't stop talking about it.

"Those little girls have blond hair."

"Her little sister has really curly hair."

"She has really long hair."

"That little girl is chasing me."

"Why is the little girls' father calling them son?"

I kept trying to get my kids attention. Finally, I grabbed my daughter and quietly told her, "Honey, those are little boys. You know that people look lots of different ways and some boys have long hair and some girls have short hair."

But she was fascinated.

"But why does that girl think she's a boy?"

"Does she even know that she's a boy?"

"Are those boys sisters?"

Jesus! She's seen men kissing in Provincetown and was less confused.

It finally got to a point where I said, "Honey. Stop talking about it. You're making the little boys uncomfortable. We'll talk about it at home in private. Don't say anything else."

I felt really bad. The parents were...well...pretty stereotypical of parents who would give their kid a mullet. Frankly, I didn't want to piss them off.

But after my son repeatedly asked the little boy what his name was, only to be ignored, he announced to me, "I don't think she talks!"

At which point the kid announced. "See. That's why I need a haircut. They think I'm a girl. I'm getting my hair cut."

And the mother said, "What you blabbering on about, boy?"

Yup, that's my kid. Ridding the world of mullets, one little boy at a time.

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