Alternately titled: What have they done to my child?!
My poor baby boy. This is a picture of my child before the butchers got to him.
And this is a picture of my child after he'd been scalped.
What, oh what, have they done to my precious little boy?
They've turned my child into a future serial killer! That's what. Or maybe a militia member. Whenever you see pictures of those people as kids, they always looked like this. Didn't they?
Every night after his bath, we have a little routine that we go through as we comb his hair.
I rub it with a towel and make it stand up all crazy. He giggles. Then he says, "Make it neat, Mommy. Make me handsome!"
I spike it all up and say, "Do you want to look like Uncle Patrick?"
And he says, "Yes!"
So I do that thing where you smooth out most of the top but leave a little spiked in the front.
And he giggles maniacally and says, "NO! NO! Smooth it out. Make me handsome."
The night before I took him to the barber he asked me if he could get his hair cut like Uncle Patrick for good. He wants the spiky front all the time.
Except, whoops. Mommy doesn't know the right words to get the right haircut and now he looks like his daddy.
My husband says that if he ever goes to bootcamp, we can send him this picture to show him what he'll look like with shorn hair.
I think if he ever finds this picture he's going to come back to us wailing, "Mom! Dad! How could you have done this to me?"