Update: The rest of the photo essay can be seen here.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
On the day my husband received his wings (I think it was 13 years ago) the guys in his class decided to honor their wives by giving each one roses as part of the winging ceremony.
I was one of the last wives called up and when my husband handed me the bouquet of roses, I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.
I didn't think about it. I just...did it. Your husband gives you flowers, you give him a smooch. Am I right?
But after, I realized I was the only wife who had done that and as I always do in the aftermath of any social situation, I wondered if I had made a fool of myself. Deep down I was saying, "Well, fuck them if they don't like it. He's my husband. The rest of those wives were weird for NOT kissing their husbands." It's not like I slipped him tongue.
Was it inappropriate to kiss my husband during a military ceremony while he was in uniform?
I don't actually know.
But, according to recently updated regulations, it is now.
Our service recently updated a bunch of regs including some uniform stuff, new rules on tattoos and new guidelines on public displays of affection.
Now I may be cynical, but my very first thought when I read about the PDA changes was that they were getting ready for the end of Don't Ask Don't Tell by making sure no one was going to have to watch guys kissing.
Rather than trust the gossip and hearsay I was hearing about the new rules, I decided to look them up myself. And basically they say no PDA. At all. Except in the kind of social situation like a wedding or leaving for or returning from a deployment where social norms would expect an expression of affection. But then it can only be a quick hug and kiss. They actually use the word "quick".
Now, I may not be quoting my husband exactly, but I'm pretty sure his take on it is, "Fuck them." I'm pretty sure as an officer of sixteen years and a veteran of three wars my husband can determine for himself what proper affectionate behavior toward his wife and children should be while in uniform.
But aren't we all lucky that now we won't have to watch anyone exchange more than a "quick" hug and kiss when they come home from 18 month long deployments.