The Agenda

I wasn't going to write today. I have a blinding headache. But then I read this (the part about the political signs) and this, and it reminded me of something that I want to go on a screaming, tearing, woman-on-the-edge rant about.

As you know, one of the women I cruised with is the anti-christ. Okay, maybe Big K is the anti-christ's sister-in-law or something. But let's suffice it to say that she rubs me the wrong way. Like she rubs me raw.

Anyway, we were walking back to the bus after a show in Playa del Carmen and just chit chatting.

CB wants to surprise her husband with tickets to the Les Mis touring production when it comes through town. This led us to talk about the other productions that have come through recently. Just as I was about to say that I had wanted to see Rent but missed it, Big K chimed in that she had seen it.

"We left about half-way through," she said. "I really didn't like the gay agenda." The others all nodded their agreement.

What? What! Gay agenda? What the hell is that? Do you all have meetings and plan a big agenda? Is it a secret plot to take over the world?

I was truly speechless. Why do I forget that most people are either ignorant or hateful? How come I keep missing out on that fact of life?

So anyway, I said, "I'd love to see Rent." Which they sort of ignored.

The conversation turned to NYC theater and I told them that I have tickets for Avenue Q in December. "Oh! What is that?" they asked.

"Yeah. You wouldn't like it. It doesn't promote family values." I think they missed my sneering sarcasm.

So I spent the rest of the cruise casually sneaking in references to my friend so-and-so and his boyfriend. Or telling stories of my college friends and their discrimination or happy same-sex relationships. Yes, it's passive aggression, tuna-style.

But I figure this. They get to know me. They like me. They think I'm a good person. They are slowly introduced to the fact that I actually think gay people can be my friends. Maybe they think twice. Maybe?

Or maybe it's just my cop out to having a big blow out on some Mexican street.

Either way, Big K is stiring up trouble again. It's all about her monster child and stepping into mine and CB's territory. CB's on the run. But fuck that. There is no way I am running from the hateful bitch and her demon spawn. So I'll be a hateful bitch myself and systematically use my influence (and my mother-in-law's money) to take her down a few notches.

I know I seem all sweet, but cross me, my friends, or my kids and watch out. You may not realize that I'm on to you, but I SO am.

Wow. You can really tell I have a headache when I start using the B word.