Don't Fuck with a Mother

Like most people, I'm not a fan of confrontation. But once I became a mother, well, it changes things.

So those of you who are new should know that I have a friend (and I use that term loosely) AH who drives me a little crazy. When I first came to this base six years ago, she was part of the group of stay-at-home military moms that I befriended. But after all this time, she and I are the only ones left.

Now, I know how to distance myself from people I don't like, but AH has made it impossible. She has insinuated herself into every aspect of my life. Her kids do all of the same activities mine do, and she even switched her oldest to my daughter's class in school.

And their kindergarten class is putting on a play. It is called Parade Around the World. The kids are going to pull floats (decorated wagons) across the stage and explore different cultures around the world. They will also perform some songs and dances.

Last Thursday when I arrived at ballet practice, AH asked me if I had read the class newsletter that had been sent home that day. Now, considering that we have to pick the kids up in car pool line and then race over two highways to get them to ballet on time, I wasn't quite sure how she had managed to read it. But, I suppose it's her own kids' lives she's taking in her hands.

So I told her no, I had not. And here is the rest of our conversation. (Let's call her daughter CH and mine LT, just for the moment.)

AH: Well, CH was crying and pouting the whole way here because she has to be a float puller in the play. She wants to do the Hawaiian stick dance.
ME: Oh, LT is pulling a float and she's all excited about it.
AH: No she's not. She's doing the Hawaiian stick dance. It said so in the newsletter.
ME: Oh, well, whatever. We'll see.

AH then looked me straight in the eye and said:

"I think CH and LT should switch."

And I looked her right back in the eye and said:

"I think this is a really good time for CH to learn that she can't always get everything she wants."

As it turns out, my daughter is actually pulling a float, saying a line, AND doing the Hawaiian stick dance. Wait until AH gets a load of that.