Horrifying Realizations

I was flitting about the kitchen yesterday and letting my mind wander. And I suddenly had a realization.

That happens to me quite a lot. I don't have a very good memory, but I think there are a lot of things buried very deeply in my mind that I only recall when something suddenly reminds me of them.

So anyway, I was thinking about Jake of NoFo and how he had realized that he may have, um, lost something during his surgery.

This triggered a horrifying realization for me!

The story gets a little gross from here on out, boys. You might want to skip ahead.

The day of my jaw surgery, I got my period. Figures. Great, right? I didn't know how or if that would affect my surgery but when the very nice pre-op nurse was instructing me on how to put on that stupid gown I told her about my little problem.

"That's okay," she said. "Just leave your panties on. But take your tampon out. Do you need a pad?"

I had come prepared so I didn't.

So I went into that surgery wearing a pair of cotton Hanes Her Way high-cut bikini briefs, color purple...and I came out of it completely bare down there.

So of course things got a little messy, especially since I was in recovery for a long time.

That night, the same nurse who never brought me my pain meds and tried to take my temperature orally yelled at me for not telling her that I started my "cycles".

I wonder if she could understand the "Fuck you, bitch!" though the wires?

And suddenly last night in my kitchen I realized something. I never saw those purple Hanes Her Ways again. So who the hell has my underwear?