And I'm not one to look back and remember the year that was. Mostly because I can never remember what happened.
But this year, for the first time, I have a written record of my life over the past ten months. I may not be able to remember January and February of 2004. But the rest of my year is just a link away.
And here is what I learned this past year.
- Tuna Girl is a stupid name for a blog.
- But I'm a huge dork. What do you expect?
- My husband doesn't like my decorating.
- And he doesn't like my underwear.
- You guys love my boring stories.
- Even my birth stories, you bunch of freaks!
- And my puke stories too!
- I talk about my boobs way too much.
- And I talk about penis too much too.
- And asses for that matter.
- Alluding to anal sex on your blog makes you popular.
- But admitting to anal sex will make you legendary.
- Talking about Edward Penis Hands will fuck up Internet porn searches for months and months.
- Porn can be a lethal weapon.
- Call me Sweetie and I'm all yours.
- Embarrassing myself is fun.
- Embarrassing my friend is even more fun.
- But I'll pay for it in spades when my friend guest blogs and gets me in trouble with my husband.
- Talking about PMS is fun too.
- An astounding number of you actually believed that these were my teeth.
- You should never ever joke about your husband's infidelity.
- One little blog post about feeling lonely can be the impetus for a wonderful new friendship.
- A friendship that will lead you to New York City and even more wonderful friendships.
- Speaking of which, posting photos of bloggers will triple your hits. Can you imagine if they were all naked?
- Oh. And don't forget that you can complain in your blog about never seeing Avenue Q. A blogger will promise to take you, and actually see his promise through!
- And by the way, you can take the boy off the stage, but you can't take the stage out of the boy.
- Your sex life can improve after 30.
- Y'all are responsible for my hot sex life.
- I can be pretty damn shallow when I'm horny. Which is all the time.
- You can learn a lot on a Mexican cruise. Including the fact that I'm fucking snarky!
- My husband thinks he's damn funny.
- I can actually learn to say, "I love you."
- And I can learn that you guys love me--PMS, sex-obsession, snarky comments, Gates-of-Hell teeth and all.
So I had a great 2004. It was a time of transition for us. But it was also a time of meeting challenges and making new friends. And I'm going to enjoy these new friends for years to come.
Love you guys!
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