My Own Personal Queer Eye

I have previously claimed that my husband looks like Vin Diesel. And I am standing by that claim. But I have to admit that when he smiles, the resemblance completely melts away. He has a beautiful smile. And he's a smiley guy.

But the biggest reason he looks like Vin is because he shaves his head.

He first shaved his head a couple of years ago during a deployment. I got to see it on a web cam, but I really couldn't tell if I liked it.

When he got home, the very first thing my daughter said to him, before she hugged him even, was, "Daddy! Your hair is all gone!"

And the thing was, even when he came home, I still couldn't decide if I liked it. For the next year and a half he kept shaving his head and he would occasionally ask me if I liked it. And I always told him the truth, that I just couldn't decide.

I know he liked it though. He didn't have to run to the barber once a week to stay in regs anymore. And he definitely had a sort of warrior look going on that fit in well with his compatriots.

But when I went to New York in December, I brought a small photo album filled with pictures of my family. (Of course I did. I'm a mom. We do those things.) In the album were pictures of my husband both with and without hair.

Nobody said much about it at the time, but a week or two after I got home, my own personal queer eye started gently nudging me with some fashion tips. And he was smart about it too. Because if he had said, "Your husband doesn't look as good bald," I probably would have taken offense.

But oh no. He had to say, "Your husband shaves his head, right? He's not bald by choice?" And then he had to claim, "Because in those pictures where he has hair he looks really hot."

Okay. Yup. Time to convince the husband to grow the hair back.

I was actually just starting to get sick of the whole bald thing myself. I missed having hair to run my fingers through.

But here is what cracks me up and makes me say "awwww" at the same time. All I said was, "I miss your high and tight," and he started growing it back right then and there. It was almost like he was just waiting for the word from me.

By the time he left on this deployment, he had a very tight high and tight going on. Yum. And like every deployment he'll come back all buff and tan. And *sigh* yup. Hello? I think I hear someone at the door. Is that my libido returning?

Would you like to know what else my own personal queer eye suggests? That I dye my hair blond. Egad. Can you picture that? Of course he gently added, "But you might want to get a tan first."

Let me tell you, I'm not letting him anywhere near my house. I know how he decorates. I'd end up with a giant dildo hanging in my bedroom.