Dream Girl

I had my first blogger dream last night.

I tend to dream quite a bit. I have very wild and crazy dreams, but I rarely remember them. When I first wake up, I can recall every detail. Within five minutes I remember only the main points. By the time I've had my first cup of coffee, I might as well never have dreamed at all.

A few dreams stick out in my head. I remember dreaming for a few nights in a row a few years ago that my father turned into a monster right before my eyes. A really scary, skinny monster.

I also dream about war a lot. I guess that makes sense. And my high school and college are often the settings for these combat scenes.

The most common theme in my dreams is that I'm not prepared for something I should be. Like I'm about to take a test and I haven't studied, or I have a softball game and I forgot my uniform.

Lately, I've had this recurring dream about being forced by terrorists to do a stand-up comedy routine. I have to perform in an arena of hundreds of thousands of people, and if they don't laugh, the terrorists will blow us all up. Of course, I'm not prepared with any material. Somehow, I manage to make them roar with laughter (wish I could remember the jokes), but the terrorists just march me to another stadium and make me do it over and over. I'm blaming Patrick for this dream.

I also know that I have some lovely sex dreams. I have absolutely no recollection of them, however. Except the one time that I got it on with Chandler. Not Matthew Perry mind you, but Chandler. (I'm so ashamed to admit that!)

So anyway, this blogger dream was not a sex dream. Sorry.

It had something to do with a race. I really don't remember. But during the course of the dream it became clear to me that I lived next door to a blogger. When I recognized him, I just kept saying, "Why didn't you tell me you lived next door?"

I could say that this dream represents some kind of poignant point about our connectedness. But I won't. It doesn't.

Next time, why don't y'all make a sexy appearance, huh? Make a housewife happy. Channel some of your madcap adventures into my dreams. I promise I'll blog about them.