Today's Post is Brought to You by a Dead Pope

After two solid weeks of eating everything I could get my hands on and wallowing in self pity, I stepped on a scale yesterday.

And got my fat ass to the gym today.

I hadn't even realized that it had been a month since Patrick had tortured me at the gym. I was a little embarrassed to show my face there again. Not because Patrick did anything outlandish (well, no more than he normally does) but because all those people saw me near death.

But I kicked my workout up a notch today just for the self esteem boost it would provide. It's amazing how much better I feel about life in general when I work out.

Whenever I return to the gym after an absence, I find a million things to complain about.

First and foremost today was that every single television in the cardio area was tuned to the Pope being carted from one place to another. I mean really. Can't we have at least one T.V. tuned to ESPN? It is a gym after all.

Of course, it is a Catholic gym (don't get Patrick started), so maybe it makes a little sense. But I didn't see any nuns on the treadmills. Give me my ESPN, damn it.

Secondly, is my gym the only one in America that has women pushing strollers on the track?

That kills me! There is a group of women who walk around the track every day, gossiping, pushing babies in strollers and carrying them in backpacks, and never breaking a sweat. They clump up and make it hard for serious walkers and runners to get around them. Today they knocked right into a woman doing squats along the side of the track.

I think it is great to take your baby for a walk...outside. But my gym has child care. And pretty good child care too. If you're not comfortable leaving your kid in the child care area, take your ass outside. The weather is beautiful Get the kid some air!

And one of them is really ugly. Okay. My opinion of her may be skewed by the fact that she said something mean about my kid. But I can lose weight. She'll always be ugly. And a bad mother.

Lastly, today I wore two different socks to the gym. And I didn't even notice until I was almost done working out.

That has got be the most horrific sin of all.