Nobody Loves Me

Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
Sitting in the garden eating worms.

Does anyone else remember that childhood song? My mother used to sing it whenever we had a poor me attitude.

That's how I felt this weekend. Not all weekend, mind you. I got to talk on the phone to good friends for a good while on Friday night. We had a nice date on Saturday. I slept away most of Sunday. But Monday...yeah. I was sitting in the garden eating worms.

When we were younger my husband and I used to fight quite a bit. Not, knock-down-drag-out fights, per se. It was more like bickering. My father used to say that we were like Paul and Jamie on Mad About You.

It took me years to realize that my husband was actually enjoying those fights. We had been married for at least three years when it occurred to me to say to him one day, "You know. I don't think it's fun when we fight."

I think he just likes to get a reaction out of me. I suppose it makes sense. I'm pretty even keeled. But I know that he loves my passion and independence, and I think he liked to set me on fire just to see the sparks.

It was around that three year mark in our marriage that I convinced him we'd both enjoy the sparks more if they were in bed. That's really when our sex life took off. Thank god.

But yesterday he started again. At one point I asked him, "Do you just want to argue with me?"

To which he responded, "Yeah. I do."

Whatever, but by the time the kids were in bed, I was ready to explode. That's when he decided that I was "cracking on" him too much. I may have crossed the line when I said, "You know. You're great at starting things. You suck at finishing them."

I spent the rest of the night avoiding him. Do you know how small a three bedroom house gets when you're trying to avoid your husband? At one point I was actually sitting on the floor in our tiny little downstairs bathroom, reading a book, and just staying away from any other human life.

On the up side, we now have TiVo, which I bought and he doesn't like. So, yeah...great.

First you bite the heads off,
Then you suck the juice out,
Then you throw away the skins.