Notable Quotes at the Tuna House

My family is cracking me up lately. Here's some of the highlights.

Last night in the kitchen while my husband is cooking a lobster dinner:

Me: So, all my blog friends say, "Happy birthday!"
Him: That's really nice. Tell them, "Thank you."
Me: I will. And they say you're lucky.
Him: How am I lucky?
Me: You're lucky to have me! *pause* Okay, only one person said that, but still.
Him: Honey, they don't know how lucky I am.

All together now: Awwww!

A little later in the kitchen while my husband is using a huge knife to crack lobster shells for me.

Me: Ooh. That was a good one. You split that tail right in half. *pause* Split that tail, Baby! *giggle*
Him: *blank stare*
Me: Oh come on. I'm funny. I crack myself up.
Him: Yes you do. At least you think you're funny.
Me: Yeah. *pause* Hey wait! Some people think I'm funny.

Ack. He doesn't recognize pure comic genius when he hears it.

Earlier this week in a public restroom, my daughter is sitting on the toilet:

Her: Mommy, what would it be like if I was the only one in my class?
Me: It might be pretty lonely and not much fun.
Her: But then I'd always be the leader. Maybe it could just be me and Caroline. Or just all the girls. Well, all the girls and Alex. He's a nice boy.
Me: That's nice. Is Alex your friend?
Her: Yes. He's nice and he doesn't say mean things, and he doesn't hit. I really like him. Maybe I should marry him.
Me: Maybe. When you're a grownup you can marry whoever you like.
Her: When I'm a grownup I'll marry Alex. But I'll ask him to sleep on the nap mat next to mine for now.

Alex...a lady's man in the making.

And earlier this week, my daughter in the car:

Her: Daddy, can we go out to dinner?
Him: Not today, darling. We don't have any money.
Her: But you can just use a credit card like Mommy always does.
Him: Mommy always uses a credit card, huh?
Her: Yup. She just shows the card and then we get stuff for free. We don't need money.
Me: But Honey, when you pay with a credit card, it's like promising that we'll pay later. We pay for all that stuff we buy when the credit card bill comes in.
Her: Oh. But that doesn't matter. As long as we don't have to think about it today.

Yup. I pity poor Alex in the future. I hope he lands a well-paying job.

And, my daughter in a store last week:

Her: But what are we buying, y'all?
Both of us: WHAT?!
Me: Did you just say, y'all?!
Him: Oh no! It's starting.
Me: Don't say, "y'all" Honey. That's slang. It's not polite.
Her: It's not slang, Mommy. It's Southern.
Him: We have to move!

And not to leave out my son:

Him: I love you, Mommy.
Me: Awwwwwww!

and
Him: You're so cute, Mommy.
Me: Awwwwwww!

and
Him: Double cwick, Mommy. Double cwick!
Me: Awwwwwww!