Ramble Alert! And this one is about looks!

I have a lot of junk on my mind lately. And I'll call it junk because it is just that. Between the kids and I having a bad/sick week, and spending too much time watching the Red Sox, I just can't seem to get things together.

And I've noticed that my blog is very maternal lately. Where's all the talk about penises and sex that keeps y'all coming back?

But believe it or not, I've found a way to connect it all.

If you're over 18, not easily shocked, and aren't Aaron's mother (and aren't at work), you should go read this. Just ignore the GIANT member and read the words.

Ignore it! I said IGNORE IT! Concentrate on the words.

Okay, are you back with me? Or did I lose you all completely.

(I momentarily worried that Aaron wouldn't want me linking to that. But heck! He put it out there! Way out there.)

I loved what Aaron said. Like most everyone, I have my good and bad days when it comes to appearances. There are times when I feel really beautiful and times when I feel like a troll. And I know without a doubt that it has nothing to do with how I look on the outside and everything to do with how I feel on the inside.

But my looks have been on my mind lately. A few weeks ago I had a consultation with my surgeon. He systematically measured my face, searching for the best way to correct my jaw alignment, with the least amount of pain, while still remaining true to aesthetic form.

So now I know exactly how my face measures up to the average (and quantifiable) perception of beauty.

And that is just weird!

But (follow me here) seeing really cute pictures of my kids reminds me of something that I have learned as an adult.

I look at those kids. I see their little faces and I just drink in their beauty. (I'm their mother. Of course I think they're beautiful.) And I know that they are the personification of the love my husband and I have for each other. They are the physical manifestations of us as a couple.

We must be pretty beautiful too than, right? I mean, sure, our kids seem to have lucked out and inherited the best of us both, but a troll couldn't have had those kids.

But even the things that I count as imperfections in me, like gap teeth and thick thighs, I just find adorable in my kids.

And there isn't a single one of you who I've seen pictures of and haven't thought that you are beautiful. Because I can see the person shining through. (Well, that and you are all pretty damn beautiful.)

So why do I always make sure to be behind the camera and never in front of it?

In fact, when I do end up in a picture with the kids, I make sure to stand behind them.

And you know what. Fuck that! This is me, for now. This is how I look in the moment. I may hate the braces and the extra pounds, but I love the mouth that bestows kisses (both maternal and wifely) and I love the body that gave my children life.

I've been fretting a bit about meeting a bunch of you. Nobody wants to shock people with their looks. But I've decided to let it all go. I can't wait to see all the pictures that will show up on blogs after my New York trip.

Because I know that you will all see me and say, "Damn. She looks happy!"