Monday, June 23, 2008

Ready for the CIA

My husband wasn't gone for more than fifteen minutes on Friday when all hell broke loose.

With the DirecTV guys still in the house, my husband headed off for his very last week in his old job on the bayou. And my son locked himself out of his bedroom.

Who the fuck puts locks on every bedroom door in a house?

Now I can't stop thinking about what kind of kinky lifestyle the former owners led. I mean, what other reason is there to put a lock on a bedroom door than a sexual one? Having met the bleach blond former owner at our cul-de-sac party, the images aren't pretty.

Anyway, I tried to pick the lock without success, so I dismantled the knob. I still couldn't pop the lock and the DirecTV guy felt bad for me so he gave it a try with no luck.

Thirty seconds later, I put some muscle into it and popped that bad boy open.

The DirecTV guy was quite impressed. I think he may have been a little turned on. You know how some men like strong, lock-picking women.

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