I was looking for blog inspiration today and decided that I am a very strange person. Some of the things I have jotted down are just...well...they're very me.
So today you will be treated to random thoughts on all the stupid crap I've written in my notebook. And we begin with...
Do I talk like Yoda?
Okay. Do I? I've noticed that I tend to say things like, "I've never in my life kept a pact." Shouldn't it be, "I've never kept a pact in my life." Why do I seem to enjoy switching around my modifiers. Is it smart I am trying to sound? For me before that has never worked? Is it a geek that I may be? Does my brain just work in this kinked up way? (Ha. I said kinked up.)
Real first name and boobs google
And we're back to my boobs again. But it bothered me just a tiny bit that someone found my site by Googling my real first name and the lovely word boobs.
Oh. By the way. Search for 11th Grade Slut on Google and I am the very first listing. I'm so proud of myself.
Which came first? Love for husband or love of uniforms?
Hmmm. A perplexing question. I think I'm going to go with...I had a latent lust for men in uniform that I discovered when I fell in love with my husband. When does your appreciation for something hot cross the line into a fetish? Not that I'm saying.
Tattoos
I wonder what I was thinking when I wrote this. I was probably inspired by this picture that I stole from Patrick. (And yes! Masturbation is like procrastination!)
I had a real aversion to tattoos for years and years. My husband wanted to get one in college and I seriously put my foot down. Well, I guilted him into not getting one, but it's the same thing. Then his mother got one! That didn't help my case.
I'm not big on body modification. I think because I think bodies are so great to start with. Why mess with what your mamma gave ya? I won't even color my hair.
But lately, well, maybe it's old age, but I'm starting to think a good tattoo in a good place is really sexy. It helps if the guy is sexy too. It helps a lot.
My all time favorite tattoo was on a guy I saw in a sex catalog. (No I won't tell you what kind of sex catalog and we don't need to discuss what I was doing perusing it.) He was bald and muscular and most likely...um...not a top. Right in the middle of his back were tattooed the words Fallen Angel. I just might be a tiny bit freaky. Shhh. It's our secret. Don't tell anyone.
So the conclusion on the tattoos thing: On people I love, tattoos are bad. On people I don't love, tattoos are hot.
Straight Guy Porn
This topic seems to flow quite smoothly. When I was writing my post about my perfectly un-fetish-like appreciation for men in uniform I got the bright idea to include a few inspiring photos. Google Hot Men in Uniform Pictures and see how many straight sites you turn up. You gay boys have all the good porn.
I'm a big proponent of porn. I think porn shared in a healthy relationship is a wonderful thing. I've glanced briefly at quite a bit of porn in my time. But I don't think I've ever actually seen porn specifically for straight women. Does it exist?
Playgirl doesn't count. I've only seen one Playgirl and I was maybe 12 years old and at twirling camp (YES! Twirling camp. Don't judge me!). I was a little surprised at what I saw. Did I say surprised? I meant horrified.
So I've decided that I can send my kids to college by taking pictures of my husband as he gets out of his uniform every evening and selling them on the Internet. Any takers?
*******
Okay. Is it getting hot in here? Did I mention that my husband is away? I have three more interesting entries, but I think I'll save them for tomorrow. I don't think they have anything to do with sex.
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