Tuna List #2

My mother is flying in tonight. She's here until Monday and it is just going to be a whirlwind of activity. Tomorrow, my daughter has a big May Pole program at school. She has three lines, plus all the group songs, poems, and dances. I spent $130 on her dress and shoes, $45 on flowers, $350 to fly grandma in, and a week's worth of my time preparing the reception. All I really hope is that she's happy and doesn't cry.

Then Friday is music class graduation. Then Saturday is her ballet dress rehearsal and recital. Then Sunday is Mother's Day. (I'm hoping for an iPod!) Ooh. And best of all, since we paid $350 to fly grandma in, we might as well use her as a babysitter. We're going to a movie Friday night. Yippee! I can't remember the last time I went out with my husband.

All of this is leading up to the fact that I'm tired and frazzled. I can't think of anything interesting to say. So yup. Sorry guys, but it is time for another Tuna List.

The Loves and Lusts of the Tuna Girl

Unknown boy--6th grade--My first make out session. We were at a roller rink. He was 18.
B.F.--7th grade--First official boyfriend. I started young. We held hands. Ooh!
K.M.--8th grade--Let him get to second base on the ski bus.
C.C.--10th grade--First real boyfriend. Lost my virginity to him when I was 15. Damn that's young! He had a serious obsession with my best friend. Now he's a doctor.
B.K.--10th grade--Best kisser ever. Most fun I ever had. My best friend dated his brother. Died on 9/11 on the American Flight.
TUNA BOY--11th grade--Future husband. Told me he loved me after 3 weeks. He denies that! Broke up after 3 months on New Year's Eve because he misheard something I said.
TUNA BOY's Best Friend--11th grade--TUNA BOY set me up with him. Total geek.
M.T.--11th grade--Met when we both won a dance contest. Went to his prom. Complete cutie.
B.--11th grade--Grabbed my ass on our first date. Dad made me break up with him when he ran his records and found out he had raped someone. He later fathered a baby with a friend of mine.
T.C.--11th grade--23 years old. Dated for 14 months. He was impotent. He tried to kill himself when I broke up with him.
M.G.--12th grade--Also 23 years old. My best friend's boyfriend. Slept with him while he was hanging out with me to protect me from last boyfriend. It was phenomenal. Oops. Don't judge me. Teenage hormones will do that to you.
TUNA BOY AGAIN--Summer before college until present--finally convinced him to sleep with me after two weeks in college. I think I always knew he was THE ONE!

Hmmm. So what do we learn from this. I started young. I was a slut. I was perfectly happy being a slut. I was really busy in the 11th grade.

** Update: Whoops. I forgot to add the one girl I fooled around with. But you guys don't want to hear about that!