Where have all the Bloggers gone?

I don't mind being alone. In fact, I relish solitude. I always have. I'm sure that has made it easier for me to be a military wife. But lately I'm finding those hours between when the kids go to bed and I fall asleep to stretch on and on. I just don't have anything interesting to do.

So yesterday I found myself checking my links list again and again for someone who has updated their blog. And I was asking myself, "Where have all the bloggers gone?" I finally realized that it is a holiday weekend. Holidays mean nothing to a stay-at-home military mother, especially during the summer. But most people have lives. Most people have things to do to fill up their holidays.

So this brings me full circle right back to the little notes I leave myself in my notebook. And we begin with...

4 Day Weekend?!?!?!

My husband hasn't had a day off in five months. He's even worked every Sunday. Then he goes away and within three days he has a four-day holiday weekend. Figures. He and his friends took a road trip and saw a Major League game. He called me last night from an exotic locale.

He was at a restaurant and a heavily-accented voice on the loudspeaker kept calling people to their tables. "Where the hell are you?" I asked. "What kind of accent is that?"

"Oh, I'm in **insert exotic locale here**. I don't think the guy on the loudspeaker is from around here."

"Nice," I reply. "Do you know what I did today?"

And this leads us right into my next note...

Hot Hot Hot

It's hot here. Bayou hot. Which is the worst kind of hot. How does the Tuna Girl keep cool here in military housing?

Well, I put my lawn swing under the only bit of shade in our yard. I fill up the kiddy pool. I stick my feel in. I turn on a Blue's Clues sprinkler. I give the kids spray mist bottles and let them go crazy. Ahh. It's the life. This is what I get to do while my husband lounges on a beach sipping a cold Mexican beer. He owes me when I go out to meet him. He owes me big.

Fat Monica Dance

Okay. This one may seem like it is coming out of left field, but follow me.

Do you want to know how to lose up to four pounds in one week without even trying? I have the answer.

Eat any fast food you want. Top it off with birthday cake and ice cream. Make sure you eat all of your kids' leftovers too. Add more cake from a crawfish boil. And don't forget some Peanut M&Ms.

Then go online and download as much cheesy dance music as you can afford. Send the man you love far away. Then spend every evening dancing around your house like Fat Monica from that The One That Could Have Been episode of Friends.

Step on a scale for the hell of it and be shocked at your weight loss.

**Results not guaranteed.

Okay. I'm done for the night. I hope you're all having a great weekend.