As Promised, A Sex Post

I've had two things on my mind lately:  softball and sex.  Those are probably the two most fun things in my life.  So which to write about?  Hmmm.  Softball or sex?  Softball or sex?
 
Well, since I promised Wayne, and Pua's jealous, I think I'll talk about sex.
 
I have been having sex with the same man for 13 years.  That's really sort of amazing when you think about it.  Amazingly boring, you could say.  But for us it has only gotten better and better.
 
My sex life had a most inauspicious start.  When I was 15 I had sex for the first time with my first real boyfriend.  Let's call him Chuck, because that's his real name.  Chuck was a lefty, in every sense of the word.  Chuck also told me that he didn't believe in oral sex, so there'd be no licking of my body or sucking of my nipples, BUT he asked me to, "lick his dick like an ice cream cone."  So I guess it wasn't a hard and fast rule, so much.
 
Mark was talking about pain in this post, and though I know he meant a different kind of pain, the way he describes it pretty much fits.  Oh the humanity.  I remember asking Chuck if he loved me at that most painful moment.  Oh to be 15 and stupid again.
 
The pain didn't deter me much, though.  I dogged that boy for more every chance I got.  And barely got any.
 
Then when I was 17 I moved on to the impotent 23 year old.  Let's call him Tim, because that is his real name.  He was a complete mess of a person.  He could get hard, but couldn't keep his erection through rolling on a condom.  We tried for about a year.  We wasted a lot of money on unused but unrolled condoms.  I made up for my previous lack of oral sex  though.  He was the first guy to ever suggest anal sex to me so that we wouldn't have to use a condom.  Apparently, he wasn't very bright.  He also shared my biggest sex secret with a friend at a bar.
 
And my next partner in crime was that bar friend who knew my sex secret and wanted to know if I'd like to do that with him.  I'm keeping the secret to myself because you already know way too much about me and my husband would have a heart attack.  (Although he told me he wouldn't care of I talked about it on my blog, I don't really believe him.)
 
That friend was a huge improvement (emphasis on huge--I knew there was some reason he was a hit with the ladies) and my first and only fuck buddy.
 
Then there was the Tuna Hubby.  I must confess that I don't remember our first time.  Isn't that awful?  I barely remember any of our college sex, and it's not because I was drunk or stoned.  I just have a really bad memory. 
 
I honestly think that we were married for about three years before the sex got really good.  The year we spent baby making was the absolute best.  At the time.  Our sex life has gotten better and better every year since.
 
Surprisingly, it was his deployments that sent us into a whole 'nother level of Monogamy Done Right.  When all we could do with each other was talk about sex we opened up on a whole new level.  I learned things about him that I never would have guessed.  And when he got home, we tried most of them, and well, damn.  I'm a pretty lucky woman.
 
In the past couple of years I've done some research and learned a couple of new things about sex and my body.  So let's go back to Mark's post.  I won't mention what it was about here because I'd rather not lose my husband to a coronary.
 
Let me say this about that topic and then I'll never mention it again.  I was really, really, really surprised by how good it felt (on the receiving end, that is).  I was expecting it to be uncomfortable at best, but oh my god!  Not uncomfortable.  Really good.  Not as good as "regular" sex, but really very good.  (Oh lord.  Did I just say that?)
 
And the other thing, well let's just say that, yes, Virginia, there is a G-spot and I know how to use it and leave it at that.  My new, um, talent is something that I want to share with women everywhere.  It is so empowering and amazing.  It's beyond words really.  I wish I had a forum to really discuss it at length.
 
Okay.  Now that I've embarrassed myself, tomorrow I'll get back to talking about ponies and rainbows.  And softball.