Monday, August 02, 2004

Can't Get No Satisfaction

"Get your sandals on and get your little ass over there and find out."

Yup. My husband took his life in his hands today. He was smart enough to say that to me while we were standing in the hallway between the napping kids' bedrooms.

First of all, little ass. I scoff. My ass has been called many things, but never little.

Second of all, he could have at least said, "Could you please get your sandals on and get your little ass over there and find out for me, please?"

Well, I learned something this weekend. I learned that combining Sudafed and Excedrin Tension Headache makes my pain go away. Unfortunately, it makes everything else in my life go away too. Kids, husband, food, blog, life. I could care a less while floating on my little drug-induced cloud. Luckily, my husband's referee clinic was canceled and he was home to care for the kids.

I also learned that after coming down off my little cloud, my family would be cranky. Very cranky.

The husband was so cranky in fact, that I couldn't even entice him to have sex.

Have any of you ever heard of this before? A man? Too tired and cranky to have sex? It's unheard of.

Little ass or not, it's not like I'm a cold fish. I can't think of anything that sucks more than to be horny and have your man not be interested. Well, except maybe being horny and not having a man at all. (Or a woman I suppose.)

I feel better today. No more drugs for me. I feel like I need a day just to recuperate. So I'll see you all tomorrow, hopefully a much happier (and much more satisfied) Tuna Girl.

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