Random Monday

I'm being such a bad mother today. The kids are watching Dora the Explorer and eating Dragon Tails fruit snacks, and I'm blogging. Sometimes I just need a second to breathe.

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We took the kids to the circus this weekend. It was pretty fun. It was actually my first trip to a circus too. What a deprived childhood I had.

We ate cotton candy and funnel cakes. We spent $30 on whirling flashlights. My kids are so spoiled.

It was the Barnum and Baily Hometown Edition tour. Which basically means that they brought their B team. The animals were very well trained. The people, not so much. We saw at least three guys slip and fall during the death-defying stunts.

But, man, were those guys hot. Those circus folks breed some fine stock. I think my favorite was the Brazilian contortionist. What he did with his body was absolutely amazing. I said to my husband later, "Every woman and gay man in that arena was thinking the same thing. What would he be like in bed!" The fact that I could clearly see his package from my seat half way up the stands was all the fodder my imagination needed.

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I think Six Feet Under is the only show I make a point to watch anymore. My favorite part of last night's episode was when Vanessa put the smack down on Rico's hoochy mama.

I've always wanted to do that. Seriously. I've done my fair share of pushing and throwing elbows, but mostly during athletic competition. One time I had to elbow a guy off me and push him to the floor. (hmmm...I don't think my husband knows about that.) But I've lived a pretty violence-free life.

Just once, I want to punch someone as hard as I possibly can. Just to see if I could actually hurt him. Just to see what it would feel like. Maybe I want to know that I could defend myself if I had to.

Any volunteers?

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I got a notice for my ten year college reunion. How the hell did that happen?

So please excuse me while I go and begin the process of taking ten years off my age. I'll keep the husband and kids, but the cellulite, stretch marks, about 40 pounds, that one wrinkle under my eye, that one renegade gray hair that is starting to bring reinforcements, and all the extra hair in my eyebrows has got to go!

And, oh shit! The braces better be gone by then!

This process might keep me busy for a while. Entertain yourselves while I'm gone, hmmm?