Love You

God, I hate it when people I care about are hurting.

My life is so good. I've talked about this before. I'm starting to wonder if I'm sucking up all the good Karma from the people I love. I'm so damn lucky.

First there's my husband. Poor baby. He's on steroids for his poison ivy (which isn't getting any better at all) and it is seriously fucking up other things in his life. Things that are far more important than a skin condition. He's down and there's nothing I can do. Except love him.

My best friend CB's husband is still deployed. He returns in three weeks, but in the meantime, she's not doing so well. She hurt her back. Which wouldn't be that big of a deal except that she's caring for a baby and a toddler all on her own.

She lost it at the doctor's office and just cried and cried. Which caused him to start that line of questioning. The line of questioning every deployed spouse avoids. "Have you been feeling like this a lot lately?" "Do I need to call Family Support?" Nobody wants to be the spouse who couldn't handle a deployment. It's like the kiss of death for her husband's career.

She told the doctor, "Just fix my back so I can care for my kids."

"He didn't get it," she told me. "He wanted to know why my friends weren't helping me. How can you really explain it to a man? How can he ever really know what it is like?" She's down and there's nothing I can do. Except understand.

And there are lots of other people too. Blog friends. Family members. I just want to cry for everybody. I don't really feel guilty for being so happy, but I feel guilty for complaining about the small stuff. I feel guilty that I can't do more, can't be a better wife or friend.

To emulate one of my favorite bloggers:

Take care.
Be happy.
Love you.