Thursday, December 28, 2006

Therapy Watch '06

What are the two things I didn't get done before my parents got here?

1) Wash the dog.

2) Get the brakes fixed on my van.

What are the first two things my father said to me?

1) "The dog needs a bath."

2) "You need new brakes."

(Number of times I misused homonyms and had to edit this post: 2)


My mother to me: "Can I please take just a second and go to the bathroom?"

Patrick, now you know why I'm always apologizing for going to the bathroom. It's a big imposition, you know.


Number of times I've gone to the bathroom just for a break so far: 12

In fact, I was legitimately using the facilities when my husband walked in and sang out, "Stop hiding."


Number of doughnuts my diabetic father has eaten: 5

Number of pieces of chocolate cream pie my diabetic father has eaten: 1

Plus ice cream, chocolates, and french fries.


Number of my diabetic father's empty soda cans I've had to pick up and throw away myself: 6

Then my mother got quicker on the pick-up.


Number of times I've seen my mother covertly give my father the finger: 1


Number of large mammals my parents killed with their mini-van on the way down here: 1

They are getting way too old to be driving so far.

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