Hold on to your hats, boys and girls. I have something shocking to report. You may not even believe it, but...
This weekend, I wore makeup.
I know. I know. It's unheard of. But I did. And even more shocking still...
I had a place to wear it.
On Saturday night, my husband and I attended a fancy schmancy fund raiser for the kids' school. This year's theme was Margaritaville, and beach wear was the official dress of the evening. We had a blast. And I even drank four margaritas. My husband put it best when he told my mom that I was giggly.
AH, on the other hand, was a hell of a lot more than giggly. She was downright obnoxious. She's a tiny little person. I guess that alcohol hit her system pretty hard. The fundraiser was an auction and she was going wild with the bidding. Her husband finally had to hide their auction number from her.
Speaking of which, does anyone remember that quilt that I made with the first graders and my mom sewed for us? It got pulled out of the silent auction and into the live one and went for a whopping $2400.
I was in shock.
I guess it pays to have rich celebrity parents in your class.
Not long after the auction I went to the restroom. I was just about to emerge from the stall when I heard two teachers enter. One was my daughter's teacher and they were talking about the quilt.
"Did you see how much your class quilt went for?"
"I know. Isn't it amazing?"
"Over two grand! Honey! It wasn't even that cute."
You know I left the ladies' room and waited in the lobby to identify the culprit. And when my kid gets to the fourth grade, I'll be making my first-ever teacher request.
Bitch.
Or as my husband put it, "Jealous bitch."
I always say: Watch what you say. You never know who's listening.
No comments:
Post a Comment