Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Dirty Girl

Hello, boys and girls. Today's post will be all about the penis.

I know, I know. It's not exactly an original topic. And it's certainly not new to Tuna Girl. But something about the penis has been bugging me.

Okay, well not exactly bugging me. But it's been on my mind lately. A few days ago I stumbled upon this entry at Biological Show. And before vacation I really enjoyed this post at the Corky (go to quickies then June 10) (via Wet Dreaming...speaking of sexy dreaming). By the way, none of the pictures at these posts are particularly work safe.

And then someone at Nicky's site mentioned Girls Gone Wild in his comment.

So here's what's been on my mind. Women's breasts have lost all their mystery, while men's penises continue to mystify.

I'm sure there was a time when the mystery of women's breasts kept men in line until they could glimpse their prize.

But now, well with Girls Gone Wild, PG-13 ratings, and the Internet, It's not like little boys are having to wait until they convince some girl to go to second base to really get a good look.

Of course, it's also simple anatomy that keeps women's breasts in the, um, forefront. It's not like I can really hide what I have.

But it seems like despite the Internet, the exposed penis still holds some magical power. Even as I'm writing this I'm realizing that, well, it's probably just me. Maybe it's just me who still feels a little shocked whenever I see a new penis. Perhaps it's just me who wonders what's hiding behind the cargo shorts and CK boxer briefs.

Maybe it's just because I'm a straight female that I find the splendid diversity of men's nether regions so enthralling.

Perhaps it's just because I'm a complete nerdy freak that I wonder about how a man's penis affects his life. You know...does he act like a huge dick because he doesn't have one? Is his baffling cockiness based on the number of inches he's touting down below?

I can't tell you how many of my female friends have commented over the years about how weird/gross/disgusting the penis really is. That's baffling to me. Of course, these are the same women who claim to have never masturbated or given a blow job, so maybe they're just lying through their teeth.

I'll go on the record right now, as one lone straight woman, to declare that size does not matter. As long as it isn't on the freakish extreme of either side of the range, it just isn't that important.

BUT, there are things that do matter.

My first boyfriend (and the first boy I had sex with) rose so far to the left that it actually hurt my side to have sex with him. We'd have to be at 90 degree angles to really get anything accomplished.

Straight is good.

And, good looks matter. I'm partial to good grooming.

And, well, talent matters. But we all knew that.

So, in summation, I'm a big fan of the penis. I'm a huge fan of one penis in particular. Penises are beautiful and useful. I *heart* men. And I admire the penis' ability to keep its mystery.

So I wonder, if women started showing off their vaginas to film crews for a free t-shirt, would the female nether region lose it's mystery too.

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