Friday, April 02, 2004

April Fools and Tuna Babies

Yesterday I was thinking about April Fools. I've always hated April 1. What a mean-spirited holiday. I think practical jokes are just plain mean. Toying with people's emotions is so wrong. That's probably why I hate most reality TV.

But it reminded me of a couple that we were in flight school with. My husband ended up, purely by coincidence, being in a flight class where most of the guys knew each other from ROTC. One guy, named John, was younger than the rest and freshly commissioned. He married his college girlfriend right after graduation. Those two were a trip. He was just baby-faced adorable and sweet, and she was...well...she was pretty immature but extremely outgoing. We all sort of watched out for them.

At an Army-Navy game party (those boys take that stuff seriously!) she told us all about how John had sobbed and cried at their wedding. That poor boy. He's forever stuck with the call sign "Cry Baby".

One April 2, out with the girls, she told us about the prank she had played on John the day before. She had told him she was pregnant, and even doctored up a pregnancy test to make it look positive. She thought it was so funny that he was stunned. But, you know, they were married. He had a good job. I can just imagine that like my own husband, he was stunned at the news, but completely joyful somewhere deep inside. She let him hang for the entire day and finally told him it was a joke that night. That is so wrong.

I didn't get the chance to have a dramatic "Honey, we're having a baby!" moment for either of my pregnancies. For the first one, he was away. And before you think ill of me, I had gone to visit him for a week during that trip. And came home with a wonderful little souvenir. I ended up telling him over the phone that I was pregnant . I was actually in the bathroom of my parents' house, whispering into the phone so they wouldn't hear my news. I was also sobbing like a baby. He went out and got a pint of ice cream and a cigar to celebrate.

The second time, I figured I could make up for it. He was actually home, and we had just started trying. I just knew I was pregnant. The second time around, you can almost feel it. But the damn tests kept coming out inconclusive. I must have spent $100 on those things. So I was stressing and just couldn't keep it from him. We did like four more tests together and just decided to lie to the flight surgeon and tell him I had a positive test.

Now, finding out the sex of our babies...that was fun! He was completely convinced we were having a boy the first time around. We even bought boy stuff. We ended up having to go into town and pay $150 for an ultrasound to find out the sex. When the technician just casually mentioned that it was a girl while she was scanning, I thought my husband would faint. He went as white as a ghost and his jaw dropped to the floor. I don't know why he was so shocked. It is a 50/50 chance, you know.

The second time, I was in the room alone and I could see the little "turtle" (that's what it looks like on an ultrasound) before the technician said anything. We had agreed to wait for the unveiling until she could bring in my husband. I think she knew that I knew, because she told him, "It's a boy, Daddy!" I have never before and never since seen such a smile. He really didn't want to be the only male in the household. And it is common knowledge that when you pull Gs for a living, you have girl babies. G for GIRL! But man! He was a happy camper.

And so was I. I knew in that moment that our family was complete.

But a had a fleeting thought yesterday. What would my husband think if I called him and told him I was pregnant again? Well, he'd think I was lying, because he had the big V when my son was only a week old. Yup, no more guppies in the tuna house. For you non-breeders out there :-) the big V is a vasectomy. My husband tells all his friends that it was the best thing he ever did. I completely agree. When you're a girl, you spend so many years avoiding pregnancy at all costs. And then you spend a few years desperate to get pregnant. And now it is so wonderful to just have fun. Lot's of fun!

For someone who promised not to talk about sex on her blog, I'm doing a lot of alluding to it. The big guy's home tomorrow. Woo Hoo! might not hear from me for a few days.

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